"Can we take a break from this? Please?"
"From DD, or us all together?"
"No baby, not from us, never from us; Just from ttwd"
I will admit this:.. I. Melly. Was. Testing. I have no clue why. Usually I dont test him, but I wanted to see how consensual ttwd actually is. I mean i KNOW its consensual, but, maybe(gulp) i was playing games. I wanted to see if he would give in.
"I don't get where you are coming from. Are you serious about this?"
"Yes, I think I am. I just want to see how life would be if I didnt have to always have in the back in my mind think I could possibly be punished. I want to be able to just make decissions on impulse. Not have to worry about your reaction."
"Uh huh. I see. I'll tell you what. It's 9:06 pm, I will give you just under 48 hours. At 9:00 pm in two days we will talk again. If you are still serious, we wont do it anymore"
That wasnt good enough for me.
"Well Im telling you right now that I dont want to, but youre telling me I have to wait 48 hours? what about till then? What if a do something worthy of a spanking before then? Are you going to spank me even though I am telling you I want a break?"
"No. For 48 hours I will not spank you. However I will still keep an open mind to what you do and if you decide you still in factly want DD then i will hold you accountable. Do you understand?"
"okay. sounds good. 48 hours. thank you."
Because I knew that I indeed didnt want to take a break, i was a perfect little angel. Okay not completely, but I was pretty good. those 48 hours past and at 8:57 he texted me.
J: So its almost 9. I am laying down. Join me when you are ready to talk.
I wanted to play just one more game ;) (okay I can hear you all gasping, I know, bad. I get it)
Me: k. i will be there in a few. but jut so u know, I havent changed my mind. in fact my thoughts deepened and i think that instead of just taking a break, i want to call it quits.
J:wow. okay well i guess we will talk when you get in here.
I walked into the bedroom and layed beside him. Either of us said anything for a few minutes. Suddenly he spoke.
"So, youre really done with Domestic Discipline, hey?"
"Yes, I just want to be my own boss, you know?"
"Oh, okay then, I.." I quickly interrupted him. I hated this. I had no clue why I was playing this game and I was full of guilt. Guilty of playing games, of testing, of lieing.
"Honey, before you continue, I need to tell you something. Please don't be mad at me, but i can understand if you are. I really don't mean any of this. As much as I don't like the punishment as they're happening, the truth is I cant imagine us without it. I need you to lead me. I need to submit to you. You need those things too and you know it. I know this isn't forced upon me but I was just testing the water to see how you would react IF I really said I was done. I am sorry"
His face went through a range of expressions. finally he said "Wow. I don't know what to say. I don't know if I should be worried as to why you wanted to test the waters, i mean was there a reason you wanted to test them? Do you not trust me completely?"
"No, i really do. please don't think I don't. I just, I guess, I was reading around blogs and stuff and I was reading peoples comments saying us women in DD relationships are brain washed by our men to do this. I guess I just wanted to see HOW you would react."
"Hmm. Well no, I don't brain wash you, you KNOW that. You know that you can say no to DD at any given time" the he chuckled "just dont say it right before a spanking because that wont fly"
I smiled. "I know hun, Im pretty sure we have been down that road once or twice" (I may have used the whole "I dont want to be involvved in DD anymore!" line once or twice to try to avoid a spanking)
"Well I'm happy you still want this lifestyle. I'm also happy you didnt take your little joke any farther, however I do believe playing games and being testing are both spanking offenses around here. Oh and you lied."
"Whaaa? You are going to punish me for this!?" (really dont know why i didnt see that coming)
"Yes. I really think I should. As much as I do understand where you were coming from you are still guilty of lieing, playing games, and testing me. All 3 of those are major things sweetie. If I let you get away with this, I will be giving you an inch and we both know how fast your inched turn to miles" I couldnt deny that. He was very right.
"Okay, I get it. but I think you should go easy on me."
"I will decide that."
We talked abit more, he made sure I knew why he felt the need to punish me. I got what I wanted by him being easy. He started with his hand, then went to his belt. It was short. then he used a homemade paddle type thing we have, for some minor offenses that occured over those two days. (sass, attitude, etc)
"Just want to make sure our roles are re-established and you know im not giving you an inch" He said as he paddled.
Overall the spanking was easy. Completely pain free come morning.
I am happy to know that if I ever really wanted to end DD that I could; But as much as being punished sucks, I dont see myself doing that anytime soon. I get comfort in DD.
Melly
Showing posts with label Punishment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Punishment. Show all posts
Tuesday, 10 January 2012
Thursday, 15 December 2011
Honey, it's either the seat belt, or MY belt.
Wow. What a tough week it has been. There has been so many good things happening in our life lately, but it seems that for every good thing something bad has to happen aswell. It's been TOUGH. My attitude has got the best of me and there has been spankings and corner time and the works too. Ugh.
Anyways we had just finished shopping and we were about to go home, we got in the car and i didnt put my seatbelt on. This is a regular thing for me, I always forget, J reminds me and thats all. Ha. NOT this time. For whatever reason I was feeling defiant.
"Hey babe, please put your seatbelt on"
"Uhm, NO, I don't feel like it" (scared myself when i said that! couldnt believe it lol)
"Excuse me?"
"Im not putting on my seatbelt. Just drive."
"I am not leaving this parking lot untill you have your seatbelt on. The baby has hers on, I have mine on, shouldnt you put yours on too?"
"uhhhhh... No?"
"(Here my NAME was used, something he doesnt call me unless he is SERIOUS), PUT on your seatbelt. NOW. You know how important it is. What would me and the baby do without you?"
(I hate when he uses my mother-ness against me like that, he knows how much she means to me, but then again thats why he does it)
I felt bad, I just wanted to listen and do it but I "had" to stick to my guns. I had to be stubborn. "
"NO!!"
"(My name here), last chance, the seatbelt, or MY belt when we get home. you choose.!"
I looked at him and the look on his face was so serious. My, if looks could kill.
Finally I gave in. Those words, that face. Scary.
"Yes Sir"
Yep. I got spanked when we got home. But the spanking was for attitude and being defiant. And it wasn't with his belt :) LOL
Anyways we had just finished shopping and we were about to go home, we got in the car and i didnt put my seatbelt on. This is a regular thing for me, I always forget, J reminds me and thats all. Ha. NOT this time. For whatever reason I was feeling defiant.
"Hey babe, please put your seatbelt on"
"Uhm, NO, I don't feel like it" (scared myself when i said that! couldnt believe it lol)
"Excuse me?"
"Im not putting on my seatbelt. Just drive."
"I am not leaving this parking lot untill you have your seatbelt on. The baby has hers on, I have mine on, shouldnt you put yours on too?"
"uhhhhh... No?"
"(Here my NAME was used, something he doesnt call me unless he is SERIOUS), PUT on your seatbelt. NOW. You know how important it is. What would me and the baby do without you?"
(I hate when he uses my mother-ness against me like that, he knows how much she means to me, but then again thats why he does it)
I felt bad, I just wanted to listen and do it but I "had" to stick to my guns. I had to be stubborn. "
"NO!!"
"(My name here), last chance, the seatbelt, or MY belt when we get home. you choose.!"
I looked at him and the look on his face was so serious. My, if looks could kill.
Finally I gave in. Those words, that face. Scary.
"Yes Sir"
Yep. I got spanked when we got home. But the spanking was for attitude and being defiant. And it wasn't with his belt :) LOL
Friday, 2 December 2011
Spanking as a relief
As much as I hate punishment spankings, I must admit that they do a world of wonder for me...
It had been a few days since I had anyform of punishment. And its not because I was behaving, it was because of, well, life. Things were just really super busy plus our baby has been teething so any "downtime" we have had has been used to comfort her. I was going through some stuff and I was feeling really poopy. My depression was acting up, I was stressed, I was feeling loads of anxiety. My overall attitude was for lack of better words pissy. On top of it all, I'm not proud of it but I was being testy with J trying to see how far I could push things. So I was feeling guilt because of that. I was able to get sometime all alone and I was thinking about how I could fix things with J and how I could feel better. I really tried to not think about spanking but it seemed like that was the best option. I came to terms with it and I wrote J an email (I couldnt ask him to his face, It was too embarassing lol)
In the email I explained how I was feeling and that I felt a spanking could really help. I also explained to him that if he spanked me I would probally be able to forgive myself for how I treated him. The reply I got from him? - "Babe, I think you're right. I was thinking the same thing and you are past due for a punishment. We will talk when I get home." Great. a "talk". I knew exactly what that meant. But hey, I couldn't complain because I had just asked for that.
Later that night after the baby was in bed and wee had spent sometime together he announced that it was bedtime. he told me to go get ready and meet him in the bedroom in 10 minutes. I did as told and when I got there he was sitting on the edge of the bed. He ordered me to face him and he asked if i knew why I was there. I nodded. "Whats that miss?" he asked. "Yes Sir" I replied. He guided me over his knee and said something about how it was a shame that he needed to punish me because he just wanted to make love. he proceeded tp spank me. I got his hand and his belt. It hurt alot but I have had worse. Something amazing happened though as I was being spanked. I was able to feel a big relief. It was like as I surrendered myself to him all of my built up emotions just flew out of me. I'm so happy that I chose this way of life and that I have a great man. For me, as much as spanking hurts, its very therapeutic at times.
After the spanking j layed down with me. He held me in his strong but gentle arms and told me how ,uch he loved me and explained to me that i dont need to stuff a bunch of negative emotions inside, that no matter how hectic life got he would always have an open ear. i apoligized and said yes, i understand. We fell asleep together.
In the morning the baby surprised me by sleeping in, so I surprised her Daddy by giving him the love making he missed the night before.
Between the punishment and knowing J is there for me and the sex, I am very calm now. Well actually happy. It feels so good being able to be relieved of all those ucky feelings. I love J. DD is the way for us.
It had been a few days since I had anyform of punishment. And its not because I was behaving, it was because of, well, life. Things were just really super busy plus our baby has been teething so any "downtime" we have had has been used to comfort her. I was going through some stuff and I was feeling really poopy. My depression was acting up, I was stressed, I was feeling loads of anxiety. My overall attitude was for lack of better words pissy. On top of it all, I'm not proud of it but I was being testy with J trying to see how far I could push things. So I was feeling guilt because of that. I was able to get sometime all alone and I was thinking about how I could fix things with J and how I could feel better. I really tried to not think about spanking but it seemed like that was the best option. I came to terms with it and I wrote J an email (I couldnt ask him to his face, It was too embarassing lol)
In the email I explained how I was feeling and that I felt a spanking could really help. I also explained to him that if he spanked me I would probally be able to forgive myself for how I treated him. The reply I got from him? - "Babe, I think you're right. I was thinking the same thing and you are past due for a punishment. We will talk when I get home." Great. a "talk". I knew exactly what that meant. But hey, I couldn't complain because I had just asked for that.
Later that night after the baby was in bed and wee had spent sometime together he announced that it was bedtime. he told me to go get ready and meet him in the bedroom in 10 minutes. I did as told and when I got there he was sitting on the edge of the bed. He ordered me to face him and he asked if i knew why I was there. I nodded. "Whats that miss?" he asked. "Yes Sir" I replied. He guided me over his knee and said something about how it was a shame that he needed to punish me because he just wanted to make love. he proceeded tp spank me. I got his hand and his belt. It hurt alot but I have had worse. Something amazing happened though as I was being spanked. I was able to feel a big relief. It was like as I surrendered myself to him all of my built up emotions just flew out of me. I'm so happy that I chose this way of life and that I have a great man. For me, as much as spanking hurts, its very therapeutic at times.
After the spanking j layed down with me. He held me in his strong but gentle arms and told me how ,uch he loved me and explained to me that i dont need to stuff a bunch of negative emotions inside, that no matter how hectic life got he would always have an open ear. i apoligized and said yes, i understand. We fell asleep together.
In the morning the baby surprised me by sleeping in, so I surprised her Daddy by giving him the love making he missed the night before.
Between the punishment and knowing J is there for me and the sex, I am very calm now. Well actually happy. It feels so good being able to be relieved of all those ucky feelings. I love J. DD is the way for us.
Friday, 25 November 2011
Lesson Learned: Never give a baby chocolate popsicle
- Well! I am pretty sure that I will never give a 7 month old baby some popsicle ever again! Let alone the fact that it made said baby very hyper, J wasn't exactly the happiest about it.
I was eating a popsicle and my daughter was whining and reaching for it. Shes at that age where depending on the food we will let her have TINY tastes of whatever we are eating. I innocently let her have a suck.. well it was really cute and she really enjoyed it so I got carried away and she ate alot more than she should have. Luckily the only effect it had on her was it made her hyper and she stayed up 4 hours later than usual. Oh and she missed a nap. Oops. J and I have this thing where we take turns doing her night schedule and today was his turn so he had to deal with it. The consequence? I have a week where I have to do her night schedule, then once shes in bed I have to report to my Master for a spanking. I can stay up for a little bit after that but I will also have early bedtime for a week. To start things off he gave me a pretty bad spanking with his belt lastnight before I went to bed. The punishment I was suppose to get lastnight ws put onhold for now because the baby wasnt sleeping, and when she finally did he belted my buttom and sent me to bed.
My bum still hurts a little today. Sigh. - Good news though is that the baby woke up at her usual time so I dont think her schedule will be too effected. Hopefull J will let me off a little because of this. I guess I will see. I will let you all know.
Hope everyone is doing well!!
Melly
Thursday, 24 November 2011
Where we are now.
Hello everyone. I know I curently have no readers, but the plan is to change that lol.
So in my last entry I talked about how we got into DD. If I went from there to now I would be writing for a very long time. So to save alot of writing/reading I will talk about where we are now. Discipline wise.
Okay so right now I am waiting a punishment, and its going to be pretty bad. I have a really bad habit of swearing. Thats one thing. But I tend to swear AT J when I get angry. Thats a huge nono. A few days ago I got angry, said "f off" and stormed off. We have a 7 month old baby so to punish me right away is sometimes impossible. J instructed me to right 200 lines then later tonight I have to stand in the corner for him and wait then when he says so I have to go to him and lower my pants and place myself over his knee. I then have to count and read the lines and after each one he will spank! I dont know if he's going to use any implements or if my panties will come off.. I have no clue. I think the anticipation is worse than the punishment its self. And he knows I feel this way. Thats why he does it. As he's spanking I will probally get lectured. When hes done he will cuddle me and tell me that he loves me and that he does this because he cares. I will then have to go to bed . I am not looking forward to tonight! This is what I call the "triple L" - Lines, lecture, and a licken.
I may not exactly want whats coming, but I do want him to take control. And I dont like swearing at him. Maybe, well hopefully this helps. Because next time will be worse.
Melly
So in my last entry I talked about how we got into DD. If I went from there to now I would be writing for a very long time. So to save alot of writing/reading I will talk about where we are now. Discipline wise.
Okay so right now I am waiting a punishment, and its going to be pretty bad. I have a really bad habit of swearing. Thats one thing. But I tend to swear AT J when I get angry. Thats a huge nono. A few days ago I got angry, said "f off" and stormed off. We have a 7 month old baby so to punish me right away is sometimes impossible. J instructed me to right 200 lines then later tonight I have to stand in the corner for him and wait then when he says so I have to go to him and lower my pants and place myself over his knee. I then have to count and read the lines and after each one he will spank! I dont know if he's going to use any implements or if my panties will come off.. I have no clue. I think the anticipation is worse than the punishment its self. And he knows I feel this way. Thats why he does it. As he's spanking I will probally get lectured. When hes done he will cuddle me and tell me that he loves me and that he does this because he cares. I will then have to go to bed . I am not looking forward to tonight! This is what I call the "triple L" - Lines, lecture, and a licken.
I may not exactly want whats coming, but I do want him to take control. And I dont like swearing at him. Maybe, well hopefully this helps. Because next time will be worse.
Melly
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