Sunday, 11 December 2011

Defining our roles

Telling someone that you are in a DD relationship is hard forsure. Explaining it can be even harder. When you finally do tell someone the reaction you get varies. For me the thing I hate the most is when people assume that because J has the title of the head of the house it means he just sits around all day and bosses me around, I wait on him hand and foot and he gets off easy. That is sooo not the case. Being in this type of relationship doesnt mean I am his "slave" (although that can be fun too hehe ;) ). We are equals when it comes to family responsibilites. He works hard for his family and I take care of our child and home when he is doing that. When he is around, "chores" are pretty much split 50/50. I am better at shopping and it gives me a break to get out of the house and do something I love so I do the shopping.I am a genius with numbers so I also do the budgeting. He is the better cook so he does most of the cooking. I do most of the lighter house work and he does the bigger stuff that I can't do because I have scoliosis. Also because I have a bad back he does alot more than he should. I'm not saying that all DD couples work like this, but again this is what works for US. I think any relationship, DD or other type, its best to find what works for you and just go with that. J is not my top in every aspect of life. He is my top when I do wrong - he is there to correct me.
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4 comments:

  1. Anonymous12 December 2011 at 10:53

    We are the same way. He does most of the cooking because he is better than I am.

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  2. Anonymous13 December 2011 at 05:33

    Hi Melly, and welcome to blogland. We have a Dd marriage too, and my husband does most of the cooking, food shopping...we each do what it takes to make our household run well. Dd is not about power but authority, and often that means the one on top does more! Sara

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  3. Elysia13 December 2011 at 05:45

    My relationship with my husband has always fallen on traditional lines. It's hard to explain that I like doing all of the things that a 1950s housewife would have done. H has been supportive in letting me be who I am.
    I was apalled that someone did a Google search with the words "subserviant wife" and found my blog! I wanted to scold Google. Submissive and subservient are not synonyms!
    I do however love to serve him, but he gives
    *me* what I need. And that makes it all work!

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  4. xoxmellyxox15 December 2011 at 03:53

    @Sara. I agree. Its about authority and working together.
    @Elysia. Thats kind of funny that that would happen. I too like to serve my man, and if we are getting something out of it, why not, right?

    Melly

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